Control

In our zany world we live in, we sometimes feel like things are out of control. I found an interesting list that I want to share with you.

50 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL RIGHT NOW

Right now you can control:

1. How many times you smile today.
2. How much effort you exert at work.
3. Your level of honesty.
4. How well you prepare.
5. How you act on your feelings.
6. How often you say “thank you.”
7. When you pull out your wallet for luxuries.
8. Whether or not you give someone the benefit of the doubt.
9. How you interpret situations.
10. Whether or not you compete with people around you.
11. How often you notice and appreciate small acts of kindness—they’re everywhere!
12. Whether you listen or wait to talk.
13. When you walk away from a conversation.
14. How nice you are to yourself in your head.
15. Whether you think positive or negative thoughts.
16. Whether or not you form expectations of people.
17. The type of food you eat.
18. When you answer someone’s question—or email or call.
19. How much time you spend worrying.
20. How many new things you try.
21. How much exercise you get.
22. How many times you swear in traffic.
23. Whether or not you plan for the weather.
24. How much time you spend trying to convince people you’re right.
25. How often you think about your past.
26. How many negative articles you read.
27. The attention you give to your loved ones when you see them.
28. How much you enjoy the things you have right now.
29. Whether or not you communicate something that’s on your mind.
30. How clean or uncluttered you keep your space.
31. What books you read.
32. How well you network at social events.
33. How deeply you breathe when you experience stress.
34. How many times you admit you don’t know something—and then learn something new.
35. How often you use your influence to help people instead of focusing on building your influence.
36. When you ask for help.
37. Which commitments you keep and cancel.
38. How many risks you take.
39. How creative/innovative you are in your thinking.
40. How clear you are when you explain your thoughts.
41. Whether you formulate a new plan or act on your existing one.
42. How much information you get before you make a decision.
43. How much information you share with people.
44. Whether you smoke or drink.
45. Whether or not you judge other people.
46. Whether you smell good or bad.
47. How much of what other people say you believe.
48. How quickly you try again after you fall.
49. How many times you say “I love you.”
50. How much rest you get at night.

Family

My parents as of today. Warms my heart yet causes me to get verklemplt (yiddish for overcome with emotion). They both got new hairdos today. I am pleased as punch with them. I think they are cute as can be. I really am very fortunate. No, I am not going to be acerbic today. For those in the dark, please see yesterday's commentary.

My daughter woke up today for the first time without a headache. We were able to get out and about for the first time since the surgery. She was in a really good mood. We went to lunch and also to a craft store to get stickers to decorate our lap tops. The poor mans answer to lap top skins. $1.99 vs $29.99. Not a hard call here. It was a fun day.

Joke seen today on Facebook....

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall!
Baaaaam! They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man said to his friend: - "You good for nothing! I'd been screaming for you to watch out, why didn't you?
Jim answered: - "IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!"

I still like a drunk joke. Been there, done that. Figure I am qualified to tell them.

Grateful for today. Grateful to be able to drive sober. Grateful for my family.
Thank you Howard. You know who you are.....

Word of the Day

a·cer·bic (-sûrbk) also a·cerb (-sûrb)

adj.

1. Sour or bitter tasting; acid. See Synonyms at bitter.

2. Sharp or biting, as in character or expression: "At times, the playwright allows an acerbic tone to pierce through otherwise arid or flowery prose" (Alvin Klein).


Wow. Can you say, yep? This is where I am at right now. Or maybe this is how I am most of the time. In my head that is. I read on Facebook this morning where someone posted "I'm a bitch and don't need to explain it. There. I said it". Well, I wanted to post "So that's your excuse". I always think these smart ass thoughts in my head when I see or hear these snarky things but don't comment as I am trying to live a sober life. In AA, we are not brutally honest to the point where we hurt others feelings or step on the toes of our fellow man (or woman). For me, I know when I get this way I have to be careful because I may be on my way to mania. Irritablility and smart-assness are common signs of manic behavior for me.

But still, I'd like to comment honestly to these ridiculously inane statements that people have the tendency to make on Facebook. Especially when they put their comings and goings on there. Do we really need to know that they are doing their laundry or their kid has green snot in his nose? But like everything else, it is just my opinion.

2 Years!

Yesterday was 2 years sober for me. A definite milestone. Yet I felt depressed and irritable. It is not unusual for me to feel out of sorts on an anniversary. Is it the anticipation leading up to the day and then bam! another day. Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful for everyday I have spent sober. I just have to realize that what I have is today and not to put a lot of stock into it. Acknowledge and move on. Today is another new day. I think I need a meeting. It has been over a week since I have been to one. It has been difficult to make one taking care of Jess and the kids. I guess I could have got one if I really tried hard enough.

Computer is running out of juice so I'll sign off.

Powerless

I spent 5 hours at the emergency room with my daughter Saturday afternoon. Her post-surgical headache became worse and she had other symptoms they said to watch for. They gave her pain meds that didn't help and ran tests that didn't show anything. She went home but went back to Ann Arbor yesterday and spent all day there. They didn't find anything which is good. They said it was just a bad recovery. Not good. They gave her better medications. She slept through the night and is sleeping today.

I have never felt so helpless in my life. I would have gladly traded places with her if I could. To see your child suffer like that is almost unbearable. Even when she is 28.