Celebrity Insanity

Is Charlie Sheen bipolar or not? In recent interviews with NBC and ABC, he is showing signs of grandiosity, a classic symptom of bipolar disorder. In reference to how he got sober; "I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind," he told NBC.

As far as AA goes; AA, according to Sheen, "was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA." Which he, presumably, has. How does he feel about people who relapse? "Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option."

This feeling of grandiosity along with the sexual prowess, alcohol and drug abuse, pressured speech, anger and irritability are all symptoms of bipolar.

As far as AA goes; AA, according to Sheen, "was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA." Which he, presumably, has. How does he feel about people who relapse? "Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option."

I also had (and sometimes still do!) a shopping addiction. Extravagant spending is not uncommon among bipolars. We will probably not know whether Sheen has one or not due to his extreme wealth. As of right now, he appears he does not have to worry about bankruptcy.

The one special aspect of bipolar disorder is that what goes up must come down. So if Mr. Sheen is bipolar or this mania is due to alcohol and drug abuse, we will know in due time.

If you always do what you did, you'll always get what you got

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mom! Mom! Mom!
Speaking of moms....being home is such a blessing. I am so comfortable around my parents and the ability to just blend in together. We can just hang out all day and not have to worry about entertaining each other. No one has to "put on the dog" so to say. Or in plain speak, to make a big deal. Ahh, the comforts of home!
While I have been here, I have been in my comfort zone. I don't have any real responsibility. No actual schedule to maintain. I feel like a total schmooze. I don't like that feeling. It scares me. I can used to this. The warm weather, the hanging out on the computer, reading, watching my taped shows, eating when I feel like it. It's like vacation. The only thing missing is the alcohol and it would be like the vacations of old. Oh yeah, and the beach. But it is ok today. I have walked through this sober before. I have set down patterns. I know what to do. Pray, get to a meeting, call my sponsor.
It is back to reality on Saturday. I need to get back into my routine before I get lazy. Walking every morning at the mall with friends, going to meetings and my volunteer work. Oh yes, I can't forget! Getting together with my sober friends for lunch and coffee. I miss meeting with my sponser and my sponsee. I am going to be alright.
I noticed on Yahoo Sports this morning that Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers was arrested late last night in St. Lucie County Florida for a DUI. He had a previous alcohol incident with a domestic disturbance in 2009. According to the AP "Police say Cabrera repeatedly refused to cooperate, saying, "Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems." Reading the police report that they had obtained is really quite disheartening. Cabrera took a drink in front of the police officer from a bottle of scotch. He also kept walking into the roadway. I say all this not because he is a major league ball player but that this disease knows no socio-economic boundaries. It doesn't care how much money you make or who you are. This behavior shows the insanity of the disease. I like Cabrera. I like the Detroit Tigers. They have grown on me in the 13 years I have been in Michigan. It's a damn shame they will probably lose a good player. The sad part is that he may lose more than just his job.


"Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny."
Marguerite Duras

Only For Today

Happy Valentines Day!



Why I Don't Drink Anymore

Story in an alcohol forum posting:

"How come you don't drink anymore?" a renewed acquaintance from long ago asked the other day.
"Anymore than who?, I asked.
"I mean any longer. How come you don't drink anything these days?"
"Drink? I drink...coffee, milk, juice, tea, soda pop, water..."
"I mean drink" he said. " you know, booze."
"Oh, booze, No I don't drink booze any more, you're right," I said, "I couldn't trust it anymore. It turned on me. Once my friend, it became my enemy."
"Maybe you got a bad batch." he said.
"No the sauce is the same. I changed. Because I have this illness of alcoholism, my tolerance weakened. Alcoholism doesn't come in bottles, it comes in people."
"Sounds pretty confusing" the fellow said
"You think you're confused," I said, "You should have seen me. I drank for happiness and became unhappy... I drank for joy and became miserable... I drank to be outgoing and became self centered... I drank for sociability and became argumentative and lonely."
"I drank for sophistication and became crude and obnoxious...I drank for friendship and made enemies... I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self pity... I drank for sleep and wakened without rest."
"I drank for strength and felt weak.. I drank medicinally and got sick.. I drank because I thought my job called for it and I lost my job.. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.. I drank for confidence and became uncertain.. I drank for courage and became afraid.. I drank for assurance and became doubtful... I drank to stimulate thought and blacked out... I drank to make conversation and it tied my tongue... I drank for warmth and lost my cool. I drank for coolness and lost my warmth... I drank to feel heaven and came to know hell. I drank to forget and became haunted. I drank for freedom and became a slave...I drank to erase problems and saw them multiply... I drank to cope with life and invited death ..or worse... I drank because I had the right and everything turned out wrong."
"Gosh!" My friend exclaimed, "That must have taken a bunch of booze to get you in that shape."
"Just one" I told him, "The first one. For me one is too many, and a thousand is not enough."
"So that is why you don't drink anymore...?"
"Yep, I make it a rule, I DON'T DRINK WHILE I'M SOBER!"


I can relate to this story. I drank in addition to quiet the racing thoughts and to slow myself down. I didn't know that with the medications I was taking, alcohol was like putting fuel on a fire. I would plunge into depression and then drink for the depression therefore starting the cycle all over again. I was in a vortex that I couldn't get out of.
Eventually, mania would rule once again and I would be free to drink as a "normal" person therefore setting into motion the pattern that my life had become. The truth to the matter was that I had become an alcoholic and no matter what the reason, I could not pick up the first drink. I was powerless over alcohol. As they say in AA, it is not the caboose that kills you.
By the way, one reason I say I don't drink anymore is I met my quota.

"Let love flow so that it cleanses the world. Then man can live in peace, instead of the state of turmoil he has created through his past ways of life, with all those material interests and earthly ambitions."
Sai Baba