Sisters

If sisters were flowers, I'd still pick you. I'd let the sun shine so you'd never be blue. I'd show the world how beautifully you grew, with bright bold colors and strength through and through.


I never had a sister growing up. That is until I was 19. Then I got 3 sisters and a brother but like a blood relative, not by choice. And to tell you the truth, I was not happy. My mother had just died and my father was getting remarried. They were in the process of divorce when she died. Long story.

The years have gone by. Our parents have stayed together. We have raised our children and gone through our own trials and tribulations. Resentments came and resentments went. We are now grandparents. I realize now what a gift God has given us through the years. Too bad we didn't think so then....


Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown

Change is Going To Do You Good?

What I learned the other night at a meeting. My friend has her family just blasting her. "F_ck you Mom" and "You're out of control!" Her daughter is 21 and I was quick to tell her "put her out!" Another AA member says you need to be patient with your family. A lightbulb comes on. Of course, you are changing so they are used to the old family dynamics and the old you. They are going to bristle at the change.
I told her that my sponsor told me you don't have to be a door mat either. So where you you find that happy median? People new in sobriety are difficult to watch as I don't always have the answers they need. I too stuggle within my own life as to what some of the "answers" should be. My husband and I have had several discussions about my grown son, who lives with us, and some of his behaviors.
It just seems so easy around AA to discuss our problems with each other and come up with solutions. The hard part is going out in the world and practicing it. People don't respond in the way we expect them to. The wonderful thing I have found is that the only person I can control is myself and in doing so I surrender to win. If that makes any sense?


“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” Arnold Bennett

If you always do what you did, you'll always get what you got

Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mom! Mom! Mom!
Speaking of moms....being home is such a blessing. I am so comfortable around my parents and the ability to just blend in together. We can just hang out all day and not have to worry about entertaining each other. No one has to "put on the dog" so to say. Or in plain speak, to make a big deal. Ahh, the comforts of home!
While I have been here, I have been in my comfort zone. I don't have any real responsibility. No actual schedule to maintain. I feel like a total schmooze. I don't like that feeling. It scares me. I can used to this. The warm weather, the hanging out on the computer, reading, watching my taped shows, eating when I feel like it. It's like vacation. The only thing missing is the alcohol and it would be like the vacations of old. Oh yeah, and the beach. But it is ok today. I have walked through this sober before. I have set down patterns. I know what to do. Pray, get to a meeting, call my sponsor.
It is back to reality on Saturday. I need to get back into my routine before I get lazy. Walking every morning at the mall with friends, going to meetings and my volunteer work. Oh yes, I can't forget! Getting together with my sober friends for lunch and coffee. I miss meeting with my sponser and my sponsee. I am going to be alright.
I noticed on Yahoo Sports this morning that Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers was arrested late last night in St. Lucie County Florida for a DUI. He had a previous alcohol incident with a domestic disturbance in 2009. According to the AP "Police say Cabrera repeatedly refused to cooperate, saying, "Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems." Reading the police report that they had obtained is really quite disheartening. Cabrera took a drink in front of the police officer from a bottle of scotch. He also kept walking into the roadway. I say all this not because he is a major league ball player but that this disease knows no socio-economic boundaries. It doesn't care how much money you make or who you are. This behavior shows the insanity of the disease. I like Cabrera. I like the Detroit Tigers. They have grown on me in the 13 years I have been in Michigan. It's a damn shame they will probably lose a good player. The sad part is that he may lose more than just his job.


"Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny."
Marguerite Duras

Tender Loving Care

I read an article in the March issue of Woman's Day magazine that provoked such feeling for me about my parents. This story was told from the elderly woman's point of view, her daughter's and her granddaughter's. This rang more true for me as I am down here in Georgia with my dad as he is going through surgery for the 4th time in 1 1/2 years. I am seeing him deteriorate as he ages and become dependent on others care. This is the man who was my rock growing up and is in my adult life also. He was and is my hero. I believe we are becoming closer with these trips I take down here. I am not going to ask him, Dad, how does this dependency really make you feel? I am not that brave. I ask him how he feels physically. Do you need or want anything Dad? My mom is there for his personal needs.

I do know that I am afraid to lose him. There is so much more I want to say. So more more I need to know about him. One thing I am amazed about is that my oldest brother just turns him away and doesn't bother to call. Doesn't he realize that one day he will be gone? There will be no more chances. I hate the fact that I am so far away and cannot come over whenever I want to. Or when he calls and needs something. My parents are at the stage of their lives when they need us kids to be there for them. They need us to help them around the house.

I am grateful I can be here now and share in the recovery with my dad. I have to remember that "...yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That is why it called the present." Alice Morse Earle


"Do not regret growing old, it's a privilege denied to many" Unknown

www.womansday.com/Articles/Lifestyle/Real-Life-3-Generations-of-Caretakers.html