Letting Go of the Outcome

That is a hard one. I ran into a brick wall on that one yesterday. I am putting in the foot work on my internship for school and I am not getting any response. My frustration level is through the roof and my panic mode is now set at destructible. I wanted to drink yesterday. I knew I wouldn't but that feeling of want was frightening. I can tell you that I did a feelings check and I felt rejected and like a loser and it reverts back to school. The internship and the math class. For those not in the know, the math is getting extremely hard and confusing right now.


My husband felt kind of helpless as I sat in the living room blubbering like an idiot. So, emergency call to sponsor. She was not available at the moment but she called right back. We discussed the possibility maybe what I am trying for may not be what it is I am supposed to be doing. The right assignment will come along. I do feel like I am forcing it. So do the footwork and let go of the outcome. Do the next right thing. She did ask what am I doing to take care of myself; my sobriety. Of that I will be more diligent. Called a friend in the program. I get lifted so much.

Start new today.


“Show up, pay attention, speak your truth and have no investment in the outcome”
Unknown

http://myblessedlife.net/2011/09/fall-kids-crafts.html


Happy October 1st! For me, it is officially fall. October 1 just feels more like fall than September 30. It is funny too that last night I turned the heat on for the first time and today is our first cold football game for my grandson. I'm wearing flannel jeans and taking coffee.

Since joining Pinterest (I know, you're getting sick of hearing about it right?) I have been more crafty and baking more. I know the creativity is in me. I just needed a push to bring it out. It helps to have the ideas in which to do it too.

Go out today and roll in the leaves or make a fire or bake some cookies. Or make some child happy and make a craft from the link that I have posted here. There are some great ideas! Make today a memorable one!

Watch What You Ask For

When I get up everyday, I pray for another another day of sobriety and also for a chance to help another person that day. I don't ask for the particulars in helping that person or who I get to help. Sometimes the people that get put in my life don't utilize the help they think they need. It can really be frustrating to watch someone abuse themselves over and over and ask you for help and then disregard what you suggest. But as I've heard, AA is a program for people that want it not for people that need it. All I can do is be therefor that person.

On a happier note, I got a call from someone I used to sponsor that wanted to meet for coffee and then go to a meeting. It is great to see someone grow. She had gotten away from the program for awhile because of her health. It was good to see her again.

I am grateful for where I am today and for the person I am today. Thank God I don't have to be the person I was 2 years ago.

http://pinterest.com/