Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!


I am grateful for:

1. God

2. sobriety

3. family

4. friends

5. AA

6. freedom

7. peace & serenity

8. abundance

9. mobility

10. love

11. clarity

12. compassion

13. discernment

14. choices

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Certain Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Hangry


I was on Pinterest this morning. Go figure! I saw this and got a big kick out of it. Reminds me of HALT. I used to get low blood sugar when I didn't eat and I would get angry. My son and brother do that when they are hungry. My brother is a diabetic. So I guess anger goes with low blood sugar.

As an alcoholic, I cannot afford to get angry so I try not to get too hungry. Nor too angry. That is a sign I need something to correct the state I am in.

I think I'll go eat before I get too hungry.

May God bless you today....

Sunday, November 6, 2011




The answer is simple to me these days; I don't drink one day at a time. After that I take it one situation at a time. Really, I try to. If it gets to be too much, I stop and ask for help. Either from the Big Guy or a friend or family member. I don't have to do it alone anymore.

What a great day it is today!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Great Truths

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned

1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats.

2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If you sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.

4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

7. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

8. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

9. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

10. School lunches stick to the wall.

11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

12. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

13. The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

What a Face!

Is this not the cutest face you've ever seen? How can you not help but fall in love with it? I hope this will be our next puppy. Not this exact puppy but one very similar.

My husband and I think it is time to get another dog. Our hearts are longing to share our love with another dog. She will not replace Kola.We know that. No dog could ever replace her.

Dave's cousin has a dog that they are in the process of mating. She is a chocolate lab. He has asked if we want one of the pups. We will tell him yes. We have decided we will call her Izzie.

I am looking forward to a new year and possibly a new dog!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry!

That is my silly Halloween joke for you today.

I love Halloween but I don't like dressing up. I did as a child but not now that I am an adult. I did it when I was drinking. Maybe that is why. We are invited to a Halloween party but there will be a lot of drinking involved. We will not be attending. I can handle being around alcohol but 1) it goes back to not wanting to dress up and 2) people are not funny drunk. Why subject myself to that kind of behavior?

What I do love about Halloween; the children. I love to see the children come up to the house and say "trick or treat"! They are so cute. I have grandchildren now so it has become even more special for me. My neighbor has her house decorated so cute. That should really attract the kids to come to our houses. I can't wait!

So all you grumps who complain about Halloween, turn on your light and have a candy bar!

Friday, October 21, 2011

I Can Only Imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I
fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

I am truly grateful today. If I were to die today, I would be so honored to be able to see my Lord.  I would miss my family dearly but I know my Lord would comfort them and give them peace. I also know that one day they would join me and our heavenly Father. The gifts I have been given in this life are too numerous to mention. I can never repay Him. But I will spend the rest of my life trying.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Just for Fun

QUIZ ABOUT YOUSELF
This is cute and fun. Just try it!
Grab a pencil and paper and keep track of your letter answers.
1. When do you feel your best?
(a) In the morning
(b) During the afternoon and early evening
(c) Late at night
2. You usually walk
(a) fairly fast, with long steps
(b) fairly fast, but with short, quick steps
(c) less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
(d) less fast, head down
(e) very slowly
3. When talking to people, you
(a) stand with your arms folded
(b) have one or both your hands on your hips
(c) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
(d) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with
(a) your knees bent and your legs neatly side by side
(b) your legs crossed
(c) your legs stretched out or straight
(d) with one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with
(a) a big, appreciative laugh
(b) a laugh, but not a loud one
(c) a quiet chuckle
(d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you
(a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
(b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
(c) make quietest possible entrance and try to stay unnoticed
7. You are working hard, concentrating hard. You are interrupted. You:
(a) welcome the break
(b) feel extremely irritated
(c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
(a) red or orange
(b) black
(c) yellow or light blue
(d) green
(e) dark blue or purple
(f) white
(g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie:
(a) stretched out on your back
(b) stretched out face down on your stomach
(c) on your side, slightly curled
(d) with your head on one arm
(e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are
(a) falling
(b) fighting or struggling
(c) searching for something or somebody
(d) flying or floating
(e) You usually have a dreamless sleep
(f) You're dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1.
(a) 2
(b) 4
(c) 6
2.
(a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 7
(d) 2
(e) 1
3.
(a) 4
(b) 5
(c) 7
(d) 6
4.
(a) 4
(b) 6
(c) 2
(d) 1
5.
(a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 3
(d) 2
6.
(a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 2
7.
(a) 6
(b) 2
(c) 4
8.
(a) 6
(b) 7
(c) 5
(d) 4
(e) 3
(f) 2
(g) 1
9.
(a) 7
(b) 6
(c) 4
(d) 2
(e) 1
10.
(a) 4
(b) 2
(c) 3
(d) 5
(e) 6
(f) 1
Add the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS:
Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You are seen as vain, self-centered, and extremely dominant.Others may admire you and and wish they could be more like you, but they don't always trust you and hesitate to become too deeply involved with you.
FROM 51 TO 60 POINTS:
Your friends see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, quick to make decisions (though not always the right ones). They see you as bold and venturesome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes a chance and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
FROM 41 TO 50 POINTS:
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical,and always interesting; someone who is constantly the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to your head. They see you also as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who will cheer them up and help them out.
FROM 31 TO 40 POINTS:
Other people see you as sensible, cautious, careful, and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or too easily, but someone who is extremely loyal to the friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize that it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but, equally, that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is broken.
FROM 21 TO 30 POINTS:
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very, very cautious and extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every side and then,usually decide against it. They think this reaction on your part is caused partly by your careful nature and partly by laziness.
UNDER 21 POINTS:
People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs to be looked after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier, who sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only the people who know you well know that you aren't.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Top 10 Signs

Top Signs That You’re Too Old to Trick or Treat

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Too Funny!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Paraprosdokian

Paraprosdokian: a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part.

  1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  4. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
  6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  7. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
  8. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
  9. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
  10. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  11. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  12. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  13. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
  14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  15. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  16. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
  17. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
  18. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
  19. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
  20. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  21. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  22. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  23. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  24. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
  25. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  26. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
  27. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  28. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  29. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
  30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
  31. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
  32. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  33. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  34. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
  35. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  36. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
  37. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

If You Want To Make God Laugh.....

I have been in school for 15 weeks now for Pharmacy Technician. I started my internship last Wednesday at our local Meijer store which went very well. The pharmacist there, April, asked if I would like to work for Meijer.  She said they were hiring for the Grand Rapids area and suggested that I apply online.

I started to apply that night online but I did not complete the application. I was going to finish it the next day. I did not even think it saved the application that I had started. Thursday morning I went to a doctor's appointment and then to a meeting. When I got home I got a phone call from a pharmacist from Meijer saying she got my application and would I like to come in for an interview?

I've started to question this nugget of fortune that has come my way but I believe I'm just going to run with it.God works in mysterious ways and we are not to question why.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Letting Go of the Outcome

That is a hard one. I ran into a brick wall on that one yesterday. I am putting in the foot work on my internship for school and I am not getting any response. My frustration level is through the roof and my panic mode is now set at destructible. I wanted to drink yesterday. I knew I wouldn't but that feeling of want was frightening. I can tell you that I did a feelings check and I felt rejected and like a loser and it reverts back to school. The internship and the math class. For those not in the know, the math is getting extremely hard and confusing right now.


My husband felt kind of helpless as I sat in the living room blubbering like an idiot. So, emergency call to sponsor. She was not available at the moment but she called right back. We discussed the possibility maybe what I am trying for may not be what it is I am supposed to be doing. The right assignment will come along. I do feel like I am forcing it. So do the footwork and let go of the outcome. Do the next right thing. She did ask what am I doing to take care of myself; my sobriety. Of that I will be more diligent. Called a friend in the program. I get lifted so much.

Start new today.


“Show up, pay attention, speak your truth and have no investment in the outcome”
Unknown

Saturday, October 1, 2011

http://myblessedlife.net/2011/09/fall-kids-crafts.html


Happy October 1st! For me, it is officially fall. October 1 just feels more like fall than September 30. It is funny too that last night I turned the heat on for the first time and today is our first cold football game for my grandson. I'm wearing flannel jeans and taking coffee.

Since joining Pinterest (I know, you're getting sick of hearing about it right?) I have been more crafty and baking more. I know the creativity is in me. I just needed a push to bring it out. It helps to have the ideas in which to do it too.

Go out today and roll in the leaves or make a fire or bake some cookies. Or make some child happy and make a craft from the link that I have posted here. There are some great ideas! Make today a memorable one!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Watch What You Ask For

When I get up everyday, I pray for another another day of sobriety and also for a chance to help another person that day. I don't ask for the particulars in helping that person or who I get to help. Sometimes the people that get put in my life don't utilize the help they think they need. It can really be frustrating to watch someone abuse themselves over and over and ask you for help and then disregard what you suggest. But as I've heard, AA is a program for people that want it not for people that need it. All I can do is be therefor that person.

On a happier note, I got a call from someone I used to sponsor that wanted to meet for coffee and then go to a meeting. It is great to see someone grow. She had gotten away from the program for awhile because of her health. It was good to see her again.

I am grateful for where I am today and for the person I am today. Thank God I don't have to be the person I was 2 years ago.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Recovery on the Web

http://www.thefix.com/content/recovery-radio4900

I saw this today on a recovery forum, soberrecovery.com. I have seen the fix and it is a very interesting website but I did not know about the recovery radio segment within it. There are several shows and stations that play a variety of genres of recovery that will appeal to any audience. I personally can't wait to delve into it!

Enjoy!!

If nobody has told you they loved you today, I do...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Centering

Yoga centers me. I used to do it more regularly. I just got back into it. I figured I had to start somewhere. So I began on a Monday night for an hour. Why is it that we don't take the time to do something for ourselves that can make us feel good inside and out? Don't get me wrong. Yoga is not an activity for the faint at heart. It is not just sitting around chanting Ohmmmm. It involves bending and stretching and a lot of deep breathing. It hurts at first when you do it. It is a good ache.

I like that when I am doing it I feel in touch with the spirit inside me. I am beginning to relax and let the worries of the world melt away. It is difficult to not let your monkey mind take over while you are practicing yoga. What am I going to fix for dinner? What all do I have to do tonight?

What I have to remember is that I can use yoga to get out of the rat race of life and de-stress. I could have used it last night when my head hurt and my brain was full. I just have to remember to do it. That my friends is a whole nother post.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Arrrrgghh!!!!


Can you guess today's topic? Yes! It is on serenity. No? Oh, I see. I look a little freaked out, eh? You hit the nail on the head there toots. I was freaking out yesterday afternoon. It started out with math homework. That to me is enough to freak anybody out. Then add to that the fact that my father fell this past weekend on his face. My parents are having some difficulties and it all just culminated in the wake of my daughters struggles.  This is not a whine fest. I am doing what I am supposed to do. Pray, call someone, meeting, read. It can sneak up on you so fast though.

I went to yoga last night and instead of worrying about rushing out to a meeting and being late, I relaxed and enjoyed it. I didn't hurry and said I will make a meeting today. I have to strategize to do what is best for me. I will write things down as I remember and take things slow instead of trying to recall everything. Its going to be alright as long as I don't panic.



Keep Calm and Google It

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Fall

There is a chill in the air now. I believe fall has definitely arrived. My husband has actually turned on the heat. He never turns on the heat before October. He says it is because he is getting older. He is 4 years younger than me. That means I have suffered for 4 years that I shouldn't have. Right?

I want to do some of these things on this list. I'd like to say I'll do them all but I'll be realistic. The time will fly by and winter will be here before I know it and then there will be a new list. It will be much shorter.

Be kind to someone today. You don't know what kind of adversity they may be facing in their life.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Choices

Today I have choices. Today I am going to choose to be a SOBEAR. Isn't life good?

I have joined a site called pinterest.com. You have boards that have have subtitles such as home, style, recipes, sayings, etc. Then you can "pin" things you see on others boards to yours if you like them which if you click on these pins they lead you to a web site with the recipe or product, etc. When you are surfing the web and see an item or pic you like you can "pin" it. I have my pin button on my toolbar for quick pinning. My daughter so lovingly got me addicted to this wonderful site. I love it! What a time waster! It is my favorite next to stumbleupon.com. That leads you websites that they deem interesting to you based on subjects you checked as interesting. You just click the stumble button.  If you find the site interesting, click like the page and it saves it in a folder for you. I am not endorsing anything that may cause you to become addicted or may cause you to veg in your underwear for days on end. I am only here to inform. You are on your own.

With that being said, may you all have a good day and find love in your life!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Destiny

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams

I found this today in a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon. It just kind of sums everything up.
Carpe Diem....



Thursday, September 15, 2011

Home


I came home yesterday after being away for most of the past 2 weeks at my daughter's. Granted it has only been on the other side of town. She had surgery and has needed help for her and the my grandchildren. Mainly the children and the daily routine. It has been a rough go for her. Fortunately I was off school last week. Last night I had an emotional melt down at my meeting. I have been so focused on her for so long that I felt like I was abandoning her. What do I do now? Where do I go from here?

My sponsor said everything was going to be OK. Just do the next right thing. And don't drink! I have the best women's group on Wednesday that I go to. I love them. I can go and open up and cry if I need to. I get hugs.

The next right thing today is that I have math homework that I have due today that I do not understand. So I will study and if I continue to not understand it, I will stay after class tonight and get extra help. It's all good.

I will sneak in that I want to expand my blogging abilities. More research needed.




The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
Maya Angelou

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Change


Bless others, change me. I heard that at a meeting the other night. For some reason that stuck out over everything else I heard that night. The topic was how we maintain our sobriety. There was a lot of good suggestions being brought up.

I remember when I got sober the first time how I blamed everyone else for how I was feeling. I let everyone else effect my mood and serenity. I didn't know how to be responsible for my sobriety. This time around has been a lot of work. Not always easy and not always perfect. I didn't see the change at first but others around me did and had faith when I did not.

Change is slow but is inevitable. Today I accept it and welcome it. I look to the future with excitement and anticipation. Blessing others is something I have to ask for help on though. I tend to forget that aspect of life. When I do, my life comes together in harmony.

Life is good today.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Post 9/11

Yesterday ended up being as beautiful a day as it was 10 years ago. Just as clear and blue. It started foggy and gray. How appropriate. I started to watch the commemorative programs but ended up crying as they read off names of the victims. What a hollow sound it was as they rang the bell in memory of the time that the planes hit the towers.
I remember vividly where I was that day. I have not nor will I ever forget that day. God bless America.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Control

In our zany world we live in, we sometimes feel like things are out of control. I found an interesting list that I want to share with you.

50 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL RIGHT NOW

Right now you can control:

1. How many times you smile today.
2. How much effort you exert at work.
3. Your level of honesty.
4. How well you prepare.
5. How you act on your feelings.
6. How often you say “thank you.”
7. When you pull out your wallet for luxuries.
8. Whether or not you give someone the benefit of the doubt.
9. How you interpret situations.
10. Whether or not you compete with people around you.
11. How often you notice and appreciate small acts of kindness—they’re everywhere!
12. Whether you listen or wait to talk.
13. When you walk away from a conversation.
14. How nice you are to yourself in your head.
15. Whether you think positive or negative thoughts.
16. Whether or not you form expectations of people.
17. The type of food you eat.
18. When you answer someone’s question—or email or call.
19. How much time you spend worrying.
20. How many new things you try.
21. How much exercise you get.
22. How many times you swear in traffic.
23. Whether or not you plan for the weather.
24. How much time you spend trying to convince people you’re right.
25. How often you think about your past.
26. How many negative articles you read.
27. The attention you give to your loved ones when you see them.
28. How much you enjoy the things you have right now.
29. Whether or not you communicate something that’s on your mind.
30. How clean or uncluttered you keep your space.
31. What books you read.
32. How well you network at social events.
33. How deeply you breathe when you experience stress.
34. How many times you admit you don’t know something—and then learn something new.
35. How often you use your influence to help people instead of focusing on building your influence.
36. When you ask for help.
37. Which commitments you keep and cancel.
38. How many risks you take.
39. How creative/innovative you are in your thinking.
40. How clear you are when you explain your thoughts.
41. Whether you formulate a new plan or act on your existing one.
42. How much information you get before you make a decision.
43. How much information you share with people.
44. Whether you smoke or drink.
45. Whether or not you judge other people.
46. Whether you smell good or bad.
47. How much of what other people say you believe.
48. How quickly you try again after you fall.
49. How many times you say “I love you.”
50. How much rest you get at night.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Family

My parents as of today. Warms my heart yet causes me to get verklemplt (yiddish for overcome with emotion). They both got new hairdos today. I am pleased as punch with them. I think they are cute as can be. I really am very fortunate. No, I am not going to be acerbic today. For those in the dark, please see yesterday's commentary.

My daughter woke up today for the first time without a headache. We were able to get out and about for the first time since the surgery. She was in a really good mood. We went to lunch and also to a craft store to get stickers to decorate our lap tops. The poor mans answer to lap top skins. $1.99 vs $29.99. Not a hard call here. It was a fun day.

Joke seen today on Facebook....

Two drunken men were driving home. The first started screaming: - Jim, watch out for the wall, watch out for the waaaaall!
Baaaaam! They hit the wall.
The next day in the hospital the first man said to his friend: - "You good for nothing! I'd been screaming for you to watch out, why didn't you?
Jim answered: - "IT WAS YOU DRIVING!!!"


I still like a drunk joke. Been there, done that. Figure I am qualified to tell them.

Grateful for today. Grateful to be able to drive sober. Grateful for my family.
Thank you Howard. You know who you are.....

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Word of the Day

a·cer·bic (-sûrbk) also a·cerb (-sûrb)
adj.
1. Sour or bitter tasting; acid. See Synonyms at bitter.
2. Sharp or biting, as in character or expression: "At times, the playwright allows an acerbic tone to pierce through otherwise arid or flowery prose" (Alvin Klein).


Wow. Can you say, yep? This is where I am at right now. Or maybe this is how I am most of the time. In my head that is. I read on Facebook this morning where someone posted "
I'm a bitch and don't need to explain it. There. I said it". Well, I wanted to post "So that's your excuse". I always think these smart ass thoughts in my head when I see or hear these snarky things but don't comment as I am trying to live a sober life. In AA, we are not brutally honest to the point where we hurt others feelings or step on the toes of our fellow man (or woman). For me, I know when I get this way I have to be careful because I may be on my way to mania. Irritablility and smart-assness are common signs of manic behavior for me.

But still, I'd like to comment honestly to these ridiculously inane statements that people have the tendency to make on Facebook. Especially when they put their comings and goings on there. Do we really need to know that they are doing their laundry or their kid has green snot in his nose? But like everything else, it is just my opinion.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

2 Years!

Yesterday was 2 years sober for me. A definite milestone. Yet I felt depressed and irritable. It is not unusual for me to feel out of sorts on an anniversary. Is it the anticipation leading up to the day and then bam! another day. Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful for everyday I have spent sober. I just have to realize that what I have is today and not to put a lot of stock into it. Acknowledge and move on. Today is another new day. I think I need a meeting. It has been over a week since I have been to one. It has been difficult to make one taking care of Jess and the kids. I guess I could have got one if I really tried hard enough.

Computer is running out of juice so I'll sign off.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Powerless

I spent 5 hours at the emergency room with my daughter Saturday afternoon. Her post-surgical headache became worse and she had other symptoms they said to watch for. They gave her pain meds that didn't help and ran tests that didn't show anything. She went home but went back to Ann Arbor yesterday and spent all day there. They didn't find anything which is good. They said it was just a bad recovery. Not good. They gave her better medications. She slept through the night and is sleeping today.

I have never felt so helpless in my life. I would have gladly traded places with her if I could. To see your child suffer like that is almost unbearable. Even when she is 28.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

God, thank you.

God, please keep me clean and sober today. Please help me to let go of yesterdays transgressions.....mistakes, and move forward today. God thank you for the means today to pay some bills. Thank you God that I do not have to panic today over a shut off notice, that you have supplied me a new life that only goes dark today if I let it. Thank you for faith that I have because I have seen you show up so many times.
Recovery World: Facebook 9/3/11

Ditto. And God, thank you for my 3 grandchildren and the opportunity and ability to spend time with them today.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Love


1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


Love - Big shoes to fill. Isn't this what most of us strive for? Our ultimate goal. I hear this verse quite often in marriage ceremonies. I want this for my marriage and for my relationships. To some extent it is there. Maybe not all at once though. For that to be, I would have to be perfect. Life is a journey and not a destination. As long as I am persevering, I am thriving. For isn't that what life is all about?


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Gratitude


We got up before the break of dawn this morning to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM. Jessica got into surgery at 7:30 and out at 10:30. She did very good. I feel such gratitude and relief. I just cried. God is so good to us.

I did find out though that the the University of Michigan hospital is a city within itself. Also, very busy. I also found out that you do not want to go out to eat when it is the week that the students are moving back to the University of Michigan and they have their parents in town with them. Dinner took 3 hours from the wait to the end. But, I feel indebted to this entity so, Go Blue!


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I feel eerily calm today. We are heading to Ann Arbor for Jess to check in for her post-op for her surgery. The post-op is today at 1:00 and the surgery is tomorrow at 7:15 am. She has a tumor on her pituitary gland. Thankfully, they say it is benign. I just pray this is the answer for all the pain and problems she has been having.

I believe I almost what-if'ed the situation in the beginning but I had to put a screeching halt to that. How unproductive that can be. Oh and the anxiety it can produce. I am so glad the surgery is now here. She has done well waiting for it. At least she has appeared to.

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.




Monday, August 29, 2011

It Is As It Is

The secret I am finding is staying in the moment. I cannot change the past and I cannot project future outcome. I have right now. The past does not define me.

Thank God for today.


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.Ralph Waldo Emerson


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Getting Through School

I started school for Pharmacy Technician 9 weeks ago. I have been so involved in just trying to keep up that time has just flown by. The program is 18 weeks and broken down into 2 classes, Pharmacy and Math. I have managed to pass both. I am truly grateful for the ability to take the course and the mind to continue in it.

My husband and I are slowly healing over the loss of our dog Kola. A cat showed up the week that she passed. An orange tabby that no one is sure of the sex. He/she has become the neighborhood cat. My next door neighbor is feeding it. He/she comes over daily for some loving and to sleep in the garage at night. We are trying to find a home for it. My husband, who is not a cat person, said Kola did not send the cat. We laugh because he was the first to buy food and started petting it. He wants to keep it around but refuses to let it in the house. Being in Michigan, I am concerned for the winter.

My thoughts and prayers are with those going through hurricane Irene on the east coast. The drama queen in me misses the excitement that surrounds the approaching hurricane but the sober, serene me is quite happy being a thousand miles away from the turmoil.


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Kola Bear

We had to let go of our baby Tuesday. She was very sick and we could not see putting her through grueling medical procedures and continual, progressive illness. What a feeling of loss it has been. I feel so alone at night without her. So far I've heard her two times and talked to her once. I feel for my husband though as she was his best friend. I know his heart aches for her. They say time heals but I think it just changes. Our hearts will always ache for her.




Death is Nothing At All

Sunset over Ocean from pdphoto.org

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

A New Day


Today I am grateful for grandkids. And of course my sobriety.

It has been almost 2 months since I have posted on here and I have no excuse. Time has flown by and life has happened but today is a new day. I think I shall start anew.

Monday, March 21, 2011

God Box

How to Make a God Box


meredithsimonds
Meredith Simonds
This article was created by a professional writer and edited by experienced copy editors, both qualified members of the Demand Media Studios community. All articles go through an editorial process that includes subject matter guidelines, plagiarism review, fact-checking, and other steps in effort to provide reliable information.
User-Submitted Article

To get what you want, you have to ask for it. For some it's through prayer, for others it's through personal affirmations. A God Box is a combination of both - an opportunity for you to write and send a special request into the universe, confident that the powers that be will make your dreams come true.

Difficulty:
Easy

Instructions

things you'll need:

  • Magazines
  • Scissors
  • Shoebox
  • Craft paper
  • Construction paper
  • Glue stick
  • Tape
    • 1

      Sit down with pen and paper in a quiet, relaxing place and make a list of everything you want in your life, big and small. These items might include money, a cruise, a house, a new coat, a loving relationship or the motivation to stick to an exercise regimen.

    • 2

      Collect a stack of magazines. Flip through the magazines, page by page, tearing out any word or image that appeals to you and represents what you want, whether it's a dollar sign, a picture of a polar bear in Alaska or the world peace.

    • 3

      Cover your shoe box in craft paper or construction paper in the color of your choice. Use your glue stick or tape to secure the edges.

    • 4

      Use your scissors to carefully cut a 2- to 3-inch slit in the middle of the shoebox lid, wide enough for you to put folded slips of paper through it.

    • 5

      Go through your stack of magazine clippings and cut out the images and words. Use your glue stick to cover the shoebox with these images and words in whatever design pleases you. Don't cover up the slit in the top. Arrange your clippings around it.

    • 6

      Close your box and grab your list of wants you made in Step One. Fold the list and slip into the top of the box. This is your first God Box request of the universe.

    • 7

      Keep your God Box in a personal place where you can see it every day. Every time you want something, write it down on a small slip of paper, fold it up and put it in your God Box. Then forget about it, confident that the universe will listen and respond.


“When you head starts to worry,

And your mind just can’t rest

Put your thoughts down on paper,

And let God do the rest…”


Friday, March 18, 2011

Alcoholic Humor

How can you tell the difference between a moderate drinker, a heavy drinker and an alkie?

A moderate drinker goes in the bar, orders a drink and goes to the bathroom. He comes out and there is a fly in his drink. He pushes the drink back to the bartender and orders another.

A heavy drinker goes in the bar, orders a drink and goes to the bathroom. He comes out and there is a fly in his drink. He picks the fly out of the drink and drinks his drink.

An alkie goes in the bar, orders a drink and goes to the bathroom. He comes out and there is a fly in his drink. He picks the fly up and tells him to spit it out, SPIT IT OUT!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Happy St. Patricks Day and a very happy 11th Birthday to my grandson Brody today!

My meeting today was on gratitude. I am so grateful for the program and people of AA and my higher power whom I chose to call God. Without all that, I would not be sober today. I am grateful that my seat was open when I was ready to come back to AA. I am grateful that I will be at my grandson's birthday dinner tonight instead of a bar pretending to be Irish.

Today is a beautiful day out here in Michigan. I appreciate what God has given me today. Make today a wonderful day.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Giving of Myself


20 Great Reasons to Volunteer

  • Help others
  • Make a difference
  • Find purpose
  • Enjoy a meaningful conversation
  • Connect with your community
  • Feel involved
  • Contribute to a cause that you care about
  • Use your skills in a productive way
  • Develop new skills
  • Meet new people
  • Explore new areas of interest
  • Meet good people
  • Impress your mom
  • Impress yourself
  • Expand your horizons
  • Get out of the house
  • Make new friends
  • Strengthen your resume
  • Feel better about yourself
  • It is fun!

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Gratitude


Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Author Unknown

I am grateful today because I have God and AA in my life. Without those two, I wouldn't have all the other wonderful blessings that I have. I hope that everyone can come up with something they are grateful for today.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sisters


If sisters were flowers, I'd still pick you. I'd let the sun shine so you'd never be blue. I'd show the world how beautifully you grew, with bright bold colors and strength through and through.


I never had a sister growing up. That is until I was 19. Then I got 3 sisters and a brother but like a blood relative, not by choice. And to tell you the truth, I was not happy. My mother had just died and my father was getting remarried. They were in the process of divorce when she died. Long story.

The years have gone by. Our parents have stayed together. We have raised our children and gone through our own trials and tribulations. Resentments came and resentments went. We are now grandparents. I realize now what a gift God has given us through the years. Too bad we didn't think so then....


Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown

Saturday, March 5, 2011

"Unwritten"

I was driving down the road the other day and this song came on. I have heard it many times before and never really listened to the words before. But all of a sudden the words just jumped out at me and I heard them for the first time. Take a listen. They might jump out at you too.

"Unwritten"
Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Mama's Southern Lullabys

This is just shortened versions of the songs my mama sang to me as a baby. I also sang them to my children. You can find the full lyrics by googling the titles. Are there any special songs your mama sang to you?

Shortenin Bread

Mama's little baby loves shortenin' shortenin'
Mama's little baby loves shortenin' bread
Mama's little baby loves shortenin' shortenin'
Mama's little baby loves shortenin' bread

Cotten Fields

When I was a little bitty baby
My mama would rock me in the cradle
In them old cotton fields back home
It was down in Louisiana
Just a mile from Texarkana
In them old cotton fields back home

Oh when those cotton bolls get rotten
You can't pick very much cotton
In them old cotton fields back home



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Celebrity Insanity

Is Charlie Sheen bipolar or not? In recent interviews with NBC and ABC, he is showing signs of grandiosity, a classic symptom of bipolar disorder. In reference to how he got sober; "I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind," he told NBC.

As far as AA goes; AA, according to Sheen, "was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA." Which he, presumably, has. How does he feel about people who relapse? "Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option."

This feeling of grandiosity along with the sexual prowess, alcohol and drug abuse, pressured speech, anger and irritability are all symptoms of bipolar.

As far as AA goes; AA, according to Sheen, "was written for normal people, people that aren't special. People that don't have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA." Which he, presumably, has. How does he feel about people who relapse? "Fools. Trolls. Weak. Defeated. They allowed defeat to be an option."

I also had (and sometimes still do!) a shopping addiction. Extravagant spending is not uncommon among bipolars. We will probably not know whether Sheen has one or not due to his extreme wealth. As of right now, he appears he does not have to worry about bankruptcy.

The one special aspect of bipolar disorder is that what goes up must come down. So if Mr. Sheen is bipolar or this mania is due to alcohol and drug abuse, we will know in due time.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Masks

A factory worker makes carnival masks in Rio de Janiero for Carnival. Wouldn't it be fun to dress up and put on a mask and pretend to be someone else? How many of us do that everyday?

I wore so many masks that I forgot who I really was. I had the mask of addiction and the masks of bipolar. Sometimes I even took on the identities of the people I fell in love with. I was a shell of a person.

Until I got sober this time did I really take a good look and see what was really there. Someone who has made mistakes in the past but still a good person with room for growth. I have forgiven myself and can now move forward.

I don't have to wear masks today. Today I wear my true face. It shows peace, serenity, hope, and love.




We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Sunday, February 27, 2011

AA Doesn't Work

A.A. DOESN’T WORK

One of the saddest statements I have ever heard is, "I’ve been to A.A. and it doesn’t work."

There is no way I can count the number of times over the past couple of decades I have found an alcoholic coming off a drunk who made that statement. Just today, one of my protégés called to tell me of a man, holed up in a cheap motel room, he was asked to locate and see if he could help him.

My protégé was successful in locating the suffering alcoholic and did what he had been instructed to do on a Twelve Step call. He told him some of the story of his drinking and how he had come to know it to be an illness over which he had no control nor did the medical profession have a solution.

The suffering alcoholic finally said, "You’re going to try to tell me about A.A. aren’t you?" Jake said, "That is where I found my solution. "The sick one said, "I have gone to A.A. meetings for the last eight 8 months and did what they told me to do. It doesn’t work for me."

Jake asked, "Did you take the Steps with a sponsor who had been blessed with a spiritual experience as the result of having taken the Steps?"

The sick one said, "I think I did but the main thing they told me was just keep coming back and you’ll be OK. When I asked what else I should do, I was told, Don’t drink and keep on going to more meetings. I did what they told me to do and A.A. just doesn’t work."

A member of Alcoholics Anonymous found me near death in 1964 and told me he could help me. He said to me, "I understand. I have been where you are and I want to help you if you will let me." I was willing to do anything.

He took me to his A.A. club and began sobering me up on orange juice with some honey mixed in it. When I began having delirium tremens, they added some Bay Rum to the mixture.

There were no treatment centers in our area at that time and hospitals would not admit us for alcoholism. We either shook and sweat it out in jail or at an A.A. club. By far, most of them made it to the end sober or they still are.

I wasn’t one of them. I saw an opportunity to return my ego to its earlier level by getting involved in a new and exciting profession and so I went for it. Sixteen years after my last drink; 11 years after my last meeting, on a day without a cloud in the sky, I thought having a beer would be a good idea, so being in a very dry county, I drove 70 miles for a six-pack. It took me 2 years to make it back to Alcoholics Anonymous very, very drunk.

But what a difference 13 years can make! There were no alcoholics laying around the club with dry heaves. There were no blood shot eyes, sweating faces, no vibrating bodies, the aroma of alcoholism was missing.

There was no orange juice in the refrigerator nor honey near the coffee pot. There was no Bay Rum in the file cabinet. It was no longer needed because almost everyone had gone to treatment and been medicated through the process of what is termed de-tox. They had missed those wonderful golden moments of the misery, suffering and pain of sobering up. At first, I thought the new approach was good but then I began to see the results. There was less and less commitment to the group and the action necessary for long term emotional sobriety was being ignored.

There were very few Big Book study or speaker meetings but a large number of discussion/participation meetings where everyone was given an opportunity to talk about whatever was on their mind whether on not they knew anything about alcoholism or recovery from alcoholism.

There were even non-alcoholics participating in these meetings. This newer approach of learning to live with alcoholism was beginning to prove to be a dismal failure.

I heard a tape of Joe McQ. and later attended a weekend of Joe McQ. and Charlie P. presenting their Big Book Comes Alive program. It then became very clear why so many were returning to the bottle. Not only were we without sick alcoholics laying around the meeting places, there was so little program in our meetings, it was almost hidden from the newcomers. No wonder so few were finding more than a few months of physical sobriety. They were denied what is required for long term emotional sobriety.

Without the sick alcoholics laying round the meeting place, I had to find a place where I could again see and smell alcoholism. I needed a frequent reminder of where I came from and what was waiting for me if I didn‘t continue to pay the price for emotional sobriety.

Over the years since I have been blessed to have been given another opportunity to survive the deadliest disease known to mankind, I have volunteered in many wind-up places where those coming off a drunk are present and available to talk with. Again and again, I heard that sickening statement, "I went to A.A. and it doesn’t work."

Of course, they are right. Alcoholics Anonymous does not work! We must work it! But they were not told the truth. My basic text reads, "Rarely, have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path" The path being the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as outlined in a book titled Alcoholics Anonymous.

My basic text does not read, "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of don’t drink and go to meetings." It reads, "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs."

Our real problem is ego driven sponsorship with very little if any real concern for the welfare of the newcomer. Proclaimed members of our fellowship who have never taken the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous will assume the responsibility for the life of a newcomer and will proudly announce the number of sponsees they have.

As one of my dear friends said, "The manner in which we now fail our responsibility to the newcomer borders on slaughter."

The demise of our sense of responsibility to those seeking help for alcoholism is one of the greatest tragedies of our time in history.

It works only if we work it (working all 12 Steps, meetings/fellowship, and being of service expecting nothing in return)!

Cliff B.