Friday, February 18, 2011

Drama & Trauma

Comedy and tragedy masks. I call them drama and trauma. I relate so much that I had them tattooed upon my body. I won't say where but it is above the waist and not on my arm. I did this about 13 years or so ago. I was manic and this woman from the hospital that I was a patient with suggested we go get them together. She even offered to pay which sealed the deal with me. The damn thing cost $75.00 back then. And it is not real big.
The reason for the drama and trauma masks; I relate them to bipolar disorder. If you're not laughing hysterically, you crying uncontrollably. That was the story of my life. I was just diagnosed with bipolar disorder and struggling with my sobriety. My doc was trying to find just the right meds that worked with me. It would be years down the road before I would find stability. I was rageful, hypersexual, would go on spending sprees, and cry at the drop of a hat. I drank off and on for 8 years with as long as 2 years of continuous sobriety until I went out in 1999 for 10 years.
I have finally reached some semblance of normalcy since I have stopped drinking almost 1 1/2 years ago. My moods don't swing as bad as they did back in my early days of diagnosis. The right meds and absence alcohol have done wonders for the bipolar. I also quit smoking over 3 years ago and started an exercise program recently. I no longer have a death wish for myself. I care about what happens to me and those around me. I care about the world I live in. I attribute this to working the twelve steps of AA.

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit


  1. Your never-give-up attitude has amazed me to the core. You are a fighter. GOd bless you. :)

  2. Thank you and may He bless you also!