Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What? I am Not the Most Important Person in the Room?

I was watching Monday night's showing of Intervention yesterday. I was reminded of how selfish I was in my active addiction. There was a particular part where the woman was asked if she would go to treatment and she says " On my terms". I almost had to laugh. You're about to lose your child, your marriage, and most of all your life and you are bargaining? What terms could you possibly have? That just shows how cunning, baffling and powerful addiction is. It all made me think of the Toby Keith song I Wanna Talk About Me

I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me (me,me,me,me- background singers)
I wanna talk about meeeeeeee (me,me- background singers)
(I wanna talk about me- background singers)mmmm me me me me
(I wanna talk about me- background singers)mmmm me me me me
You you you you you you you you you you you you you

I wanna talk about ME!

I'm not selfish but I am all I ever think about. I have to pray every morning and ask that God help me stay sober and relieve me from the bondage of self, that I may better serve Him. I do this because how many times during the day do I think about me? What I want, what others think about me, what will please me, what am I going to do. I don't naturally stop and think what I can give back to life.
I have realized from working the steps that pride and self-importance are character defects. I have to continually watch for these to crop up and work Step 7, Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. Sometimes I get tired from trying to do all this in a day. My head spins from all the thoughts going around, trying to work the steps, not be selfish, help others, what do I have to do today, yadda yadda yadda. Then voila! It dawns on me. I am BIPOLAR also. Slow my dumb ass down. Rome wasn't built in a day.

“To remove the evil of egoism, service is the most efficient instrument."

Sri Sathya Sai Baba

No comments:

Post a Comment