What I learned the other night at a meeting. My friend has her family just blasting her. "F_ck you Mom" and "You're out of control!" Her daughter is 21 and I was quick to tell her "put her out!" Another AA member says you need to be patient with your family. A lightbulb comes on. Of course, you are changing so they are used to the old family dynamics and the old you. They are going to bristle at the change.
I told her that my sponsor told me you don't have to be a door mat either. So where you you find that happy median? People new in sobriety are difficult to watch as I don't always have the answers they need. I too stuggle within my own life as to what some of the "answers" should be. My husband and I have had several discussions about my grown son, who lives with us, and some of his behaviors.
It just seems so easy around AA to discuss our problems with each other and come up with solutions. The hard part is going out in the world and practicing it. People don't respond in the way we expect them to. The wonderful thing I have found is that the only person I can control is myself and in doing so I surrender to win. If that makes any sense?
“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” Arnold Bennett